Mojitos, Ye be no friend of mine...

Dear G-man,

I just wanted to thank you for the terrible case of gut-puking and ass-fire this weekend.

Saturday night, Hubby and I went to a family friends moving away party. Grandad was there and we did the baby-guy exchange and headed up to a restaurant where hubby's friend now works. It was the grand opening of this new restaurant in a new wing of our local mall. I started out having a good time. Notice I said 'Started'.

I was having fun, started out having A beer, and decided to make the switch to 'something fun'
So I ordered up a Mojito. I had them before and really liked them.

This one had a shard of sugar cane in it. I never had one with the sugar cane in it, and everyone said you just chew on it occasionally. OK, So I drank it and chewed on the cane. The drink tasted a little 'off' but stupid me, I finished the whole thing.

My stomach was starting to hurt and I was just not feeling that great. What do I do???
Why I ordered another one, of course. The second one tasted much better but I had only a few sips and decided, 'I don't feel very well, I think it's time to go home' I started off telling Hubby I was tired and wanted to go home. I didn't want to humiliate myself and say I am going to be sick. But it came down to having to tell him that my ass was on fire and I was going to puke right there in the bar.

We finally left about 45 minutes later, all the while, I'm doing the swallowing thing to stop from puking and squeezing my ass to hold in either farts or diarrhea, I did not dare find out which one it was. I didn't even want a cigarette, I was that sick.

Oh - he had already decided that I was driving home b/c he was shit faced after being there for only a few hours, and he also offered up my Chauffer services to his friend.
I didn't mind taking his friend home what-so-ever. However, since we were not going home directly, I wanted to get going, quickly, and as fast as we could.

I was hauling ass to get home, Sophie would have been proud I actually drove over the speed limit! I mean tires were squealing! HA! Take that!!
I did not care, I was not drunk, but if a cop pulled me over, I would have thrown up all over him on purpose!
So we get home, I made it to the bathroom and just unloaded.

Ever heard about unleashing the fury from both ends at the same time?

Let’s just say I decided to throw our bathroom trashcan away.

All through the night I was getting up to puke or burn my ass some more.
My body hurt from head to toe, and I was physically shaking I was that cold. And I was under the thickest down comforter that you can buy.

Then at 1:45 in the afternoon, Grandad called to see if we were around for him to bring baby guy home. I was dying; hubby was out watching the game and then was at study group.

The one time I planned on grandad keeping baby guy till almost bedtime, and that’s the day he brings him home really early. He could tell I was sick, I sounded terrible, I felt terrible.
I get up and get into the shower; I take a handful of Tylenol because my whole body felt like I had been in a car accident.
Then once I am downstairs, waiting for them to get there, Grandads lady friend calls to see if I wanted baby guy to stay longer since I wasn't feeling good. I thanked her, but said no, go ahead and bring him home.

Thankfully when he got there, baby guy was asleep and I put him in the crib and he slept for another hour, so I got another hour of sleep too!

Do you know how hard it is to occupy a baby while you are sick? He was in and out of his crib so many times, he stopped getting pissed off.
I think he caught on that I would be back to get him in a few minutes, so he occupied himself with the TV and his toys.

I still feel like one of those dummys that they train K-9's on.


Mom