WARNING...This is a Bitch-Fest... Read at your own risk-I'm serious

Oh Jee-bas I am so tired this morning. I'm fucking annoyed and tired, and fed up and this is EVERYTHING out in the open. One day I am going to fucking go POSTAL!

Baby guy would not stay asleep last night. I was up every 20 to 30 minutes, trying to rock him back to sleep. I would get him to the point where he was so zonked out; he couldn't keep a binky in his mouth. I would make the transfer to the crib and sure enough a short time later, he's pissed off when he realizes he's in the crib and I'm no where to be found.
I gave up at one point and brought him to bed with me. He slept ok there, just rolling around a bit too much, but at least I got 2 or 3 hours sleep straight.

Where was hubby, you ask? Why, he was downstairs, of course. And, when he finally comes to bed and saw baby guy with me, he got annoyed. He didn't say anything, but I could tell, and when I said to take him to his crib, he said 'no its ok leave him there' SUUUUUUURE you just didn’t want to have to put him in his crib and when he would cry, you would be responsible. Just like the old game ’you touched it last'

I'm glad hubby is back in school, I really am... no honestly... however, now he has an excuse to just do nothing associated with the house. He didn't do much before with the exception of straightening up occasionally. However, He takes the mail in and takes out the trash on Wednesday and Sunday nights.

He surfs the Internet constantly. He bids on stuff on Ebay. And he’s constantly looking at motorcycle stuff. I wish we never had a computer. He is up all night on the computer, and most (pretty much all) nights I go to bed alone and sometimes stay alone, as he has fallen asleep sitting upright in the chair with the laptop on his lap.
Instead of doing homework for a few hours each night after the baby has gone to bed at 8pm, he will do all of his assignment in one night, sometimes staying up till 3 or 4 am. While all of the other nights, he is surfing and buying crap.

Take last night, he wrote a 750 word paper for school. I have no idea when he got to bed; I think it was between 1 and 2:30am. If he worked a little each night, instead of surfing the internet every evening, he could have a handle on this. He only has 1 class at a time, with an assignment due each week.

Here is hubby’s average day:
Wake up at 6:00 and go to gym or sleep in and skip the gym
Get to work at 8:00
Work until 4:00
Come home, let dog out and go to the bathroom
After work he will do one of these things... go to band practice, which is rare during the week these days, go to school on Thursday nights, or go to his team/group meetings for school once a week.
But mostly, what he does is come home, and sit on the computer all night. Hubby will play with baby guy, not for the whole evening and he only plays till he gets annoyed or bored.

Oh and he still has a social life too! Mine? Non-existent...I have the option to go out and I can't. I have had to arrange for a sitter for the baby when he was home! He has never said you need to go out; I’ll take the baby so you can go out. I remember this one time, he did have the baby for the night, after I said I needed to get my nails done and get a few beers with Sophie, and somehow his father ended up at our house watching the baby, and hubby went out himself!

I asked him this weekend, when was he going to get up with the baby on the weekend to give me a break? His reply,”Whenever he doesn’t have a show the night before, or was up late doing schoolwork, or doing whatever"'Whatever' means when he was out the night before having a good time getting shit-faced hanging out. NICE!!!

Oh and this last time that he was out, some friends of his called twice around 11pm, talking shit, being stupid and ignorant. Me ‘hello’ Them ‘hello, heellooooo’ Me again, ‘Can I help you with something’ Them ‘click’. They call again, just as I had gotten back to sleep. Me ‘hello’ Them ‘Helllloooooooo’ Me ‘who is this?’ Them ‘Who is this…Oh hahaha man that was C’s wife… hahahahaah… click’ I called him right after and asked him if he knew that number, all the while there’s some broad laughing and giggling in the background. Listen, have the courtesy to take your ass outside and talk to me, there’s a reason I have called you at 11:15pm while you are out…Yeah I let that one slide. I know hubby knows who that was that called.

What he doesn’t do is;
Laundry, every fucking night, I am doing laundry.(I do his laundry, and fold it nicely on his side of the bed, he can't even put his clean, folded clothes away, So I leave them there, and he then puts the piles on the bench at the foot of our bed. There are now 3 piles about a foot and a half tall)
Dishes (He won’t even put glasses and silverware in a dishwasher, or unload the dishwasher)
Wash bottles, (well, he did wash bottles a few times a long time ago) I used to wash them every night, but now I goddamn refuse to have to do that every evening along with the laundry
Vacuum or clean any floor in the house, in any manner (this includes sweeping or steam cleaning)
Dusting
Cooking
General cleaning

Now...Let me tell you what I do...

I am up each and every single time baby guy cries in the middle of the night.
I wake up between 5:30 and 5:45 am; I prepare a bottle for baby guy. I wake up baby guy and give him his bottle while he lies in crib and watches t.v.
I take a shower while he is having his bottle.
I get myself dressed and then get baby guy changed and dressed.
I finish getting myself ready for work and am downstairs by 6:45am.
I let dog out and change water bowl and fill food.
I make baby guys bottles and food for daycare
I load up the truck with my laptop and baby guys stuff.
I take baby guy to daycare and get to work by 8:00am
I work until 4:30 and pick up baby guy on the way home.
I feed baby guy and do laundry or wash bottles while he snacks in his highchair
I play with baby guy all evening until its bed time, then its time for his bottle before bed and I put him down for the night, all the while, going to him when he wakes up and rock him back to sleep.
Hopefully I am asleep by 10:00

**On the weekends, I get to sleep in till about 6:30am. Then it’s a full day of playing and trying to do chores. If I am lucky, I can go back to sleep while baby guy takes his morning nap. **

I refuse to cook, clean the dishes, occupy the baby, do laundry, wash bottles or clean the house in general every night. His hands aren't broken, he can cook and have dinner started before I even get home at 5:15, but he doesn't and flat out wont.

And again, he left the fucking hose on that stupid god-damned plant outside. When I discovered it was on, I asked, 'Did you realize this was on?' He immediately got defensive and said that he had 'Just turned it on'. And not to talk down to him and etc...What does he take me for? I am not an idiot, as much as he would like to believe otherwise. The patio was abso-fucking-lutely soaked with water; I know that hose was on from about 4:30pm till 9pm. I'm telling you, I WILL KILL THAT PLANT WHEN HE LEAST EXPECTS IT...

You know, after reading this long winded post and all the stuff I have complained about…

I have to ask myself ‘what the fuck am I doing?!?!’