Life with Diapers

I am the wife of a Corporate Drone by day, Rock Star by night. AND the best mom I can be to a gorgeous toddler. PLUS managing to work full time. And somehow I have turned 31.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween Eve...

Sophie and I were carving pumpkins last night. This was supposed to be fun for baby guy, but it turned out to be much more fun for us instead!!! Here are some pictures.





Tuesday, October 25, 2005

This is what happens when my Mother babysits...

I'm Back, Bay-Beee!

Well I am back at work after a really great vacation.

Hubby and I had a wonderful time on our cruise. Here are some highlights:

Flights down to San Juan were pretty good. Had a stop-over in Charlotte, found a bar right across from our gate that we could smoke in. We met this guy who was traveling to San Juan for work purposes and we chatted with him for a bit to kill some time.
On the flight to San Juan, I proceeded to get pretty drunk off Rum and Diet Cokes. I love how they give you two (2) little booze bottles instead of just one! By the time we landed, I was pretty toasted. And we watched Bewitched in flight. It was an OK movie, it provided a good distraction. We caught a cab to the Port and was on board in about 20 minutes.
Things got 'friendly' and then we just hung out in our cabin until the ship set sail.
We had a full day at sea on our way to Aruba. On that day we hung out at the Pool Bar and drank.
In Aruba, we took a bus tour of the island. Saw Tom cruises house, although at this point, it could have been anybody's house. We saw the collapsed Coral Bridge, and then took a boat ride and sat in the submerged hull to tour a sunken boat called the Antilles. After our tour, we walked around Aruba near the Port. Ate at Carlo's and Charlies, We drank the customary Drinks by the Yard, I was trashed. Hubby had shots of Sangria, I think, poured down his throat and had his head shaken about by a server. Oh and we also got charged the native currency in US dollar amounts, So instead of 13 dollars for fajita's, we were charged 26. Assholes! While in the bathroom, I noticed someone had written in huge letters, Where in the world is Natalie Holloman? I had no idea that was the last place she was seen alive.... Whoooo eery! Aruba was OK, some parts of the island were nice, but most of it was shit. As we were sailing out of port, We saw why we only saw 3 quarters of the island, the other part of the island was nothing but oil refineries, who wants to see that crap???

Curacao was exactly the same, Looked the same as Aruba, only with more refineries blazing right behind the port. I wasn't terribly impressed. However, you could tell they were trying to make improvements and I think the port area could look really nice in the future.

Next we had another day at sea, we hung out in the pool, I layed out for a bit, drank at the pool bar and then had a nap before dinner.

On to St Maartin...a small island cut down the middle, one half French, the other half Dutch. Oh my god I have never been so harassed by locals in my life! I could handle it, just 'no thanks' and a wave of my hand and I kept on walking. I don't think Hubby was used to that and was getting really annoyed by the locals. I mean every 20 feet it was 'Hey beautiful, get your hair braided' or 'come down this way, 60% off jewelry' shit we even got hit up for a stupid timeshare right off the boat taxi! I was ready to just walk away, but they were cornering Hubby pretty good. Finally I said, 'NO, we have a tour at Noon, we can't help you!' Hubby even was hit up for his hair to be braided, Ummmm he has no hair, these people are just so starved for money, they don't even pay attention, they just spew their usual garbage lines and don't look at people when they speak.
We hit up the jewelry shops and I came across these earrings I fell in love with, and most of the 60 thousand jewelry shops had these earrings or a similar variation of them, so I talked them up to whatever 'deal' these stores were going to give me and I went with the best offer. I think I chose well. One store that the cruise line endorsed was trying to give me the second worse offer that I was quoted! Hubby got a watch and I ended up with 3 pairs of earrings total. I did end up finally using the 20 Euro I had tucked in my wallet for years, so that was a good thing.
Hubby had a tour planned with ATV's. Shortly before he headed for his tour, it started to rain and get kinda gross out, but these tours were rain or shine, so on he went. I took a shower and read a bit in our cabin. Then I started to notice the weather getting worse, Nothing related to the Hurricane Wilma, just bad weather. The rain was going sideways! I couldn't even step out onto the balcony it was coming right in. I was a little worried. After watching that for a bit, I fell asleep reading. Right as I woke up, Hubby came in the room, soaking wet and covered in mud/sand. His tour was not as he had expected or what was advertised and he was not very happy about that. But he did ride a ATV, and he even got a free jet ski ride.
We headed out of port and we were pretty glad about it too.

The next day we were in St Thomas. I had been talking up St Thomas for a while. I loved it when I was there in 2001. This time it was kinda 'eh'... It looks really nice from the ship. In town there is a shopping bazaar in a plaza right in town it's nothing but a sea of tents. Back in 2001 there was this lady who would sing her goods. 'Three for 10 Dol-lahs, for girlfriend over heeah' I saw her again, or I am pretty sure it was her, she looked like Erika Badu, but she didn't sing. I was a tad upset. I did see this one Rhasta guy I remembered from 2001. He had a donkey all dressed up and his fur was colored with vibrant colors, the donkey's name... OPRAH! He was charging 5 bucks to take a picture of Oprah the Donkey...
We walked around St Thomas, all the stores were jewelry with a few souviners mixed in, the Hard Rock Cafe had just closed down a month or two ago, so we couldn't even go in there to sit and eat. They closed the little shop with the frozen drinks in the back. They are trying to improve St Thomas, by cleaning up the main store fronts facing the water, but its the side road, just a block in, thats just crazy. Everyone was trying to get the ship passengers to take these tours. The traffic was ridiculous too. But no beggars, mangy dogs, or timeshare gimicks, like St Maartin.

We were ready to head home by this time. The ship was really nice overall. We enjoyed the Champage bar and their champagne cocktails. Some of the passengers were really annoying, passengers of a certain locality that we sailed out of. RUDE RUDE and even more RUDE. One guy when we were the pool bar one day, flat out asked, what can he get for free. WTF!! We called him the 'what can I get for free guy' each time we saw him. We took in a comedian, he was OK kind of funny. We ate at Johnny Rockets one night, that was just OK, the burgers were cooked only 1 way, well done, gross.
I think next time, no more tours, unless its a sightseeing tour that takes you around the island or wherever. I dont mind those, they stop in places of interest and you can buy whatever crap they are selling and then your off again in 10 minutes time.

Thats all for now, Glad to be home, Super Glad to see baby guy again. He grew in the week we were gone.

bye for now
Mom

Friday, October 14, 2005

'Next Blog'

You know that little button up in the upper right hand corner of this page, Says 'Next Blog'? I'll give you a minute to locate it.
.
.
.
Well have you found it yet? Ok, good.

Now when you click on that you will be taken to some random blog.

There are some weird ones out there! Some are just advertisements, some are political, some are pictures from holidays, some haven't been updated for 6 months or longer. I found one where this guy was documenting his progress with his penis enlargment. Another I found was documenting their Sex Change. Complete with pictures...

The ones that really annoy me are these little teeny-boppers from Singapore or Hong Kong. The all have this huge extravagant template, no doubt created by some computer genius. And they have Anime cartoons all over it like Sailor Moon, and some song by someone I have never heard of blaring as soon as the page finishes loading. They are typing english but they all jacked up with random capital letters mixed in and weird condensed words. Its like a puzzle to try to find where they actually publish their writing too.
Once you find where the actual blog part is, they are all in love and they write of love, love and School. They all complain about School. What kid doesn't?

And when you try to escape, the 'next blog' button is gone!

Trapped.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Woo

Woo woooo wooooo woo! woooo

The countdown is 3 days. 3 days to go on our cruise.

I will miss Baby guy something awful.
My mother is coming to stay with him.

I don't have much to say today. I had an eventful morning, and it went exactly like yesterdays too.

I give baby guy his bottle in the morning, go back in after 15 minutes to check on him and make sure he's drinking it. The smell hits me and there is shit creeping up out of his diaper on his back and its all over the crib. I strip him down and I am trying to contain the shit, and there is little shit butt-prints all over the sheets and blanket. I get him down to nothing and have to let him crawl around his room butt naked while I gather all the shit covered clothes, sheets and blanket.

So this morning, just like yesterday morning I am doing laundry at 6:45 am.
I just put them back on right before he went to bed last night, only to do the exact same thing today...

gross


At least on the cruise, I get a break from poop

Monday, October 10, 2005

I had a post for today...

But it's just not worth the effort to type and get all annoyed...


I am 43% Evil Genius.
I Want to be Evil!
I want to be evil. I do evil things. But given the opportunity, and a darn good reason I may turn to the good side. Besides I am probably a miserable evil genius.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I MUST SEE THIS.



I have seen this show being advertised and talked about for a while.

http://www.wickedthemusical.com/

I HAVE TO SEE THIS SHOW! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SHOW TO COME!

This morning, I finally start to hear about it coming to the Kennedy Center from Dec 21st to Jan 15th. I say to myself 'Hey that would be alot of fun to go see, I have to remember to look for tickets'

So I start looking on The Kennedy Center website, tickets are priced at $42.00 - $150.00. Not bad I say to myself, So I start searching for tickets, only to find out that EVERY SINGLE SHOW IS SOLD OUT ALREADY. Why are you going to bother advertising if they are sold out, you bunch of insensitive dickheads!

So I start looking at ticket brokerage houses. They are charging from 145 to 350 a piece for the 2nd tier!!
Then I go on Craigslist.com, some person has two orchestra section tickets up on auction, I can only imagine how much those tickets are going to go up to...

I have got to find tickets.

Mom


**UPDATE**
I have tried, just spent the past 2 hours agonizing and searching, but
I just cant bring myself to pay 150 bucks per ticket for a midweek show to sit on the second tier!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Look what I can do!


Yes, this is what we learned to do this weekend. I had just lowered his mattress and this was his first time in it at that height. And in a matter of minutes, he figured this out....

Mojitos, Ye be no friend of mine...

Dear G-man,

I just wanted to thank you for the terrible case of gut-puking and ass-fire this weekend.

Saturday night, Hubby and I went to a family friends moving away party. Grandad was there and we did the baby-guy exchange and headed up to a restaurant where hubby's friend now works. It was the grand opening of this new restaurant in a new wing of our local mall. I started out having a good time. Notice I said 'Started'.

I was having fun, started out having A beer, and decided to make the switch to 'something fun'
So I ordered up a Mojito. I had them before and really liked them.

This one had a shard of sugar cane in it. I never had one with the sugar cane in it, and everyone said you just chew on it occasionally. OK, So I drank it and chewed on the cane. The drink tasted a little 'off' but stupid me, I finished the whole thing.

My stomach was starting to hurt and I was just not feeling that great. What do I do???
Why I ordered another one, of course. The second one tasted much better but I had only a few sips and decided, 'I don't feel very well, I think it's time to go home' I started off telling Hubby I was tired and wanted to go home. I didn't want to humiliate myself and say I am going to be sick. But it came down to having to tell him that my ass was on fire and I was going to puke right there in the bar.

We finally left about 45 minutes later, all the while, I'm doing the swallowing thing to stop from puking and squeezing my ass to hold in either farts or diarrhea, I did not dare find out which one it was. I didn't even want a cigarette, I was that sick.

Oh - he had already decided that I was driving home b/c he was shit faced after being there for only a few hours, and he also offered up my Chauffer services to his friend.
I didn't mind taking his friend home what-so-ever. However, since we were not going home directly, I wanted to get going, quickly, and as fast as we could.

I was hauling ass to get home, Sophie would have been proud I actually drove over the speed limit! I mean tires were squealing! HA! Take that!!
I did not care, I was not drunk, but if a cop pulled me over, I would have thrown up all over him on purpose!
So we get home, I made it to the bathroom and just unloaded.

Ever heard about unleashing the fury from both ends at the same time?

Let’s just say I decided to throw our bathroom trashcan away.

All through the night I was getting up to puke or burn my ass some more.
My body hurt from head to toe, and I was physically shaking I was that cold. And I was under the thickest down comforter that you can buy.

Then at 1:45 in the afternoon, Grandad called to see if we were around for him to bring baby guy home. I was dying; hubby was out watching the game and then was at study group.

The one time I planned on grandad keeping baby guy till almost bedtime, and that’s the day he brings him home really early. He could tell I was sick, I sounded terrible, I felt terrible.
I get up and get into the shower; I take a handful of Tylenol because my whole body felt like I had been in a car accident.
Then once I am downstairs, waiting for them to get there, Grandads lady friend calls to see if I wanted baby guy to stay longer since I wasn't feeling good. I thanked her, but said no, go ahead and bring him home.

Thankfully when he got there, baby guy was asleep and I put him in the crib and he slept for another hour, so I got another hour of sleep too!

Do you know how hard it is to occupy a baby while you are sick? He was in and out of his crib so many times, he stopped getting pissed off.
I think he caught on that I would be back to get him in a few minutes, so he occupied himself with the TV and his toys.

I still feel like one of those dummys that they train K-9's on.


Mom